Saturday, January 28, 2006

Embarrassing Face Marks

Seems like now's the time to reminisce about some of life's more embarrassing moments. Kassi inspired me to divulge this particular moment with her "Graduation Vacuum Hickey".

This happened the summer between my high school graduation and first semester of college.

I was a very popular babysitter in Poolesville when I was a teenager. Quite honestly, my book was full several weeks in advance. This allotted me a little extra cash and some much needed self esteem.

Anyway, one of the families that I sat for had a pool. An in-grown pool to beat that. Made of cement, it was. This is an important detail. One afternoon, I was invited over for some swimming fun with a couple of local neighbor kids and the mom of the household. It was a beautiful day, the sky mostly clear with a few cotton candy clouds. The pool was refreshingly cool, the air hot. I think there were 6 or 7 of us playing in the pool in total. I was swimming back and forth, fooling around with different ways to make it from one end to the other. One particular method involved maneuvering like a dolphin, arms down, undulating my whole body. This was a fun way - and was the way that the "Man from Atlantis" swam - so was kind of cool.

I stopped mid swim and took a breath. The water was slightly over my waist. I dove back under and began my undulation....and hit my face on the bottom. Ouch! I sprang back up from the bottom and exclaimed my surprise. I turned to the nice lady that owned the house/pool and said, "Yikes, I hit my face on the bottom!" Then I nervously laughed for a second. She did not laugh. First she looked surprised, then shocked, and then she screamed. I couldn't figure out what was the problem at first, then all the other girls started screaming too.

"What's wrong?!" I asked. I couldn't understand what the problem was, I'd just smacked my face on the bottom. It wasn't like I'd fallen on a fencepost from thirty feet in the air.

"Get some gauze, quick!" one of the girls yelled to the next door neighbor leaning against the fence.

Just then, some water from my eyebrow dripped into my eye, so I rubbed it with my hand. When I pulled it away and saw my hand, I understood all the commotion. It was covered with blood. One of the young ladies there had the poor sense to get some bactine. I climbed out of the pool and sat on the lawn to keep blood from dripping on the pavement. Unaware of what would happen, I closed my eyes and allowed my face to be anointed with bactine.


Yeah, it was that bad. Oh, and bactine keeps the wound red. For a day or so.

The right side of my forehead, my right cheek down to my jaw-line was scraped. This adventure might be amusing on its own, but the next day I got to go to freshman orientation at the University of Maryland.

Needless to say, I did not need any help starting up conversations with strangers the next two days on campus. I'm sure I made it memorable for many of the other students to be there.

This, my friends, is my life.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


I travel a fair amount. Just enough to get "status" on one airline and "executive" car rentals. What does this mean? Pretty much nada.

Oh, I get to enter the plane first and rent a gas guzzler. Life, she's complete!

Anywhoo.....I drove to Tennessee on Monday and back yesterday.

I find it infinitely interesting to see the combination of public advertisement vs actual businesses when I visit somewhere new. Often, as was the case in the area around Knoxville, they are an amusing counterpoint to each other. There were lots of church billboards in this area, and a strangely numerous amount of adult book stores. Not sure if the "Jesus Saves" billboards were intended to discourage the attendance at the bookstores, or the churches just have lots of money to burn off instead of performing the community services they should be. I guess, it could just be chance as well.

The trip up there was fairly uneventful. Made the trip, including two stops, in about three hours. So, I figured that the return trip would go quickly as well. So much for figuring. Everything was going swimmingly. I was singing along with the Phantom. Everyone was clipping along at a mighty good pace. And then we stopped. For five miles and 45 minutes it felt as though I was back in Chicago, driving home in rush hour. And the cause of this? A not to bright driver was stopped in the right lane in the construction area where they had the road narrowed to the two lanes with no where to pull off. His/her car had conked out. Mind you, we were on a downward grade that ended with the end of the construction. So, had this driver thought for a minute, he/she could have coasted down the hill and PULLED OFF. But no, better to inconvenience all the other travelers on an interstate and chat on the phone.


But I did make it home safely and that's the good news. Milk and cookies, being back with Clif and my dog Copper made it all worth while.

Friday, January 13, 2006


We're going to be papering the bathroom on the main floor this weekend. Interesting wallpaper that is based upon old fashioned post cards randomly placed on a wall. Not the photo side of the post cards mind you, but the note side.

So, in order to paper, you've got to have a whole chain of events, not excluding changing the inner workings of the toilet. The first of these things is painting the trim. We're going to stick with basic white. So, Clif went out and bought some new, supposed "low VOC" oil based paint so he could get started. But let me back up a step. Even before you paint on oil with oil you have to "degloss" the existing trim. I'm sensitive to odor and chemical vapor. This deglossing stuff is wicked stinky. But, I'm a trouper, don't have to do the work, so I keep myself upstairs working. Clif is very aware of my smelly stuff issues, so I have been warned. A few hours later, he's painting the trim. Oh my, this stuff is really vile. The smell of it, I mean. White paint does not look vile.

Anyway, I'm fixing dinner now. All I know is that the pork chops, mac & cheese and roasted beets we are having for dinner will taste like oil based paint. So will breakfast tomorrow and most likely lunch. Dinner will be served up as a luscious wall paper paste flavor. I can hardly wait.

Diet anyone?

Monday, January 09, 2006

New Goals

OK, I need to post more frequently - new goal is at least once a week! A friend was posting earlier about habits. My work training says that they take 3 weeks and 27 "attempts" to ingrain. Wish me luck.

I have all these random thoughts anyway, really need to put them down.

Have I said how much I love the weather in Georgia? Seasons come and go on time. Sometimes it feels like they meld together to make a desirable amalgamation. Yesterday, for example; Technically speaking it is the dead of winter. It was in the mid sixties yesterday and sunny. This makes those gardening catalogs more mouth watering than they already are. The temptation is too much. I'm caving in today and ordering some Dahlias for the front yard. My inspiration for their color is the lantana that shifts from yellow to pink as the flowers open. I've got five in my "shopping cart" just awaiting the submit button.

I'm working from home today - really feeling spoiled - and today is just as great. I'm checking out all the swelling buds on my hydrangea. The daffodil's are about two inches out of the ground. The pansies and viola are in their glory, looking fully velvety.

Going to walk the dog, smell that lovely waking earth smell, squint at the bright sun, and eat my lunch.

Life, she's good!