Embarrassing Face Marks

Seems like now's the time to reminisce about some of life's more embarrassing moments. Kassi inspired me to divulge this particular moment with her "Graduation Vacuum Hickey".

This happened the summer between my high school graduation and first semester of college.

I was a very popular babysitter in Poolesville when I was a teenager. Quite honestly, my book was full several weeks in advance. This allotted me a little extra cash and some much needed self esteem.

Anyway, one of the families that I sat for had a pool. An in-grown pool to beat that. Made of cement, it was. This is an important detail. One afternoon, I was invited over for some swimming fun with a couple of local neighbor kids and the mom of the household. It was a beautiful day, the sky mostly clear with a few cotton candy clouds. The pool was refreshingly cool, the air hot. I think there were 6 or 7 of us playing in the pool in total. I was swimming back and forth, fooling around with different ways to make it from one end to the other. One particular method involved maneuvering like a dolphin, arms down, undulating my whole body. This was a fun way - and was the way that the "Man from Atlantis" swam - so was kind of cool.

I stopped mid swim and took a breath. The water was slightly over my waist. I dove back under and began my undulation....and hit my face on the bottom. Ouch! I sprang back up from the bottom and exclaimed my surprise. I turned to the nice lady that owned the house/pool and said, "Yikes, I hit my face on the bottom!" Then I nervously laughed for a second. She did not laugh. First she looked surprised, then shocked, and then she screamed. I couldn't figure out what was the problem at first, then all the other girls started screaming too.

"What's wrong?!" I asked. I couldn't understand what the problem was, I'd just smacked my face on the bottom. It wasn't like I'd fallen on a fencepost from thirty feet in the air.

"Get some gauze, quick!" one of the girls yelled to the next door neighbor leaning against the fence.

Just then, some water from my eyebrow dripped into my eye, so I rubbed it with my hand. When I pulled it away and saw my hand, I understood all the commotion. It was covered with blood. One of the young ladies there had the poor sense to get some bactine. I climbed out of the pool and sat on the lawn to keep blood from dripping on the pavement. Unaware of what would happen, I closed my eyes and allowed my face to be anointed with bactine.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Yeah, it was that bad. Oh, and bactine keeps the wound red. For a day or so.

The right side of my forehead, my right cheek down to my jaw-line was scraped. This adventure might be amusing on its own, but the next day I got to go to freshman orientation at the University of Maryland.

Needless to say, I did not need any help starting up conversations with strangers the next two days on campus. I'm sure I made it memorable for many of the other students to be there.

This, my friends, is my life.